“Squidward doesn’t need to wear pants because his penis is on his face.” – Unknown

“The suite life of Zack and Cody is the only place were there is a dumb asian and a smart blonde.” – Unknown

“When people yawn, do deaf people think they’re screaming?” – Unknown

*Finds out crush isn’t at school today.* “Damn, wasted outfit.”

“Would you like another glass of haterade with your b-chflakes or some hoe wheat toast?” – Unknown

“I could never accept a blowjob from a fat girl. I’d be too afraid that her natural instinct would take over.” – Unknown

“My phone dies faster than Chris Brown in stomp the yard.” – Unknown

“There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note that said ‘Don’t eat me’. Now there’s an empty plate and a note that says ‘Don’t tell …

Teacher: “Why is your cat at school?”
Kid: “Because I heard dad say to mom, ‘I’m going to eat that p–sy when the kids leave’.”

“Vagina jokes aren’t funny. Period.” – Unknown